It is beyond cold outside and I find myself standing at the end of another year. In the shower this morning, I thought about my plans, and I realized I was ending the year with someone different than I started with. I remember when the ball dropped into 2013, I thought that this was it. It’s funny how life is sometimes.
I could do a rehash of all the changes that happened this year, but there were so many. You can read all about them by scrolling down.
Last year I made a few resolutions:
1. Read 50 books by December 31st.
Well that didn’t happen. As of today I have completed 42 books and am on #43. This is the same number completed as last year. I’m not sure if I can finish this last one. I am on vacation so it is possible. Also a special note should be made for the fact that I started and finished 3 of those books yesterday. What can I say, it was a restful Sabbath.
2. Run a race in another State.
Nope. I slowed way down on running this year. I finished 18 of the 19 races I had planned. The final one I didn’t do because it was too cold. I refuse to run in temps less than 20 degrees. Last year’s sinus infection taught me that.
3. Train and complete a marathon by December 31st 2013.
haha…um no. See previous.
4. Let it go.
See how funny life is? I let a lot of stuff go this year. Including the person I made the resolution for/with. It’s not something I’ve ever been good at, but God made it happen. Even when I held on and BAWLED, in the end I let go.
5. Go on Vacation.
I did manage this. I went to Florida for 3 days and did absolutely nothing. I laid on the beach every single day and ate nothing but Taco Bell. I wound up losing 2 lbs I think and having one heck of a tan.
6. Write, Write, Write.
In the end, I didn’t do any more writing than I did the year before. I took a few classes so maybe that counts? But no creative writing. There were less blog entries, but in the end, I’m ok with this.
7. Switch it Up:
I did. I quit WW and was vegan for a bit there.
Resolutions for 2014:
1. Don’t be afraid to be hurt or hurt.
That’s a mouthful. It took until August of this year to come face to face with my actions and reactions. I think a lot of the time, I don’t want to be that girl and I will always try to protect myself. I was sitting in a meeting today, and someone burst into tears. Her dog was dying. I thought was very sad, but then I was amazed at the resolution she got from it. She wanted to live life more fully. She’d often not used china because it wasn’t a special occasion. She’d not visited people because she thought she could see them later. Her resolution was to be more present. Mine is to do that, but also not be afraid of the hard things.
2. Let someone else help.
I had a dark spot this year. It was after my break up, when I was I trying to get myself out of a hole and I was part of the way out too. I basically got kicked in the gut. It was hard and it made me afraid. I was surprised to look up and have so many people who knew about it, come to my aid. I’m not a very open person, but knowing that there were prayers out there for me to come out of it and be whole again, made me come out unscathed. In the words of my father: “It could have been so much worse. But you survived.” Cue Destiny’s Child in the back ground.
3. “Speak your Mind, even when your voice shakes- Maggie Kuhn
I am a pleaser. I hate saying no to people, and will often agonize over the decision for days. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in awkward situations because I didn’t want to be there, but didn’t know how to say “no”. I learned this about myself in a one month therapy session. I was going with someone, saving what couldn’t be saved, but I did learn , I love to please others.(get it?) Except when I don’t. And when I don’t, I say no as the quietest little mouse in the cupboard. I’m so quiet, that it’s often hard to hear me at all. The problem is, it’s often so quiet, I get ignored. That usually queue’s an explosion. It would be so much easier if I said no a little earlier and a little louder right? Right. This year, I resolve to say no.
4. Go on a mission trip.
I’ve been agonizing about this one for a few weeks. I could think of a billion reasons I can’t go; Money, my job, my rent, etc. However there are so many other reasons to go. If this is what God wants, then the rest of of it will figure its own way out.
5. Believe in Myself
I say “I can’t” a lot. I often won’t make a decision unless I have back up. A lot of it pertains to my own life, so why not just believe in my own abilities?
2013 took a lot of growing up. I made a lot of changes. I broke some things. I put some things back together. I put me back together. I know all of the changes weren’t for naught and I can’t wait to see what 2014 brings :).